Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Facebook Rule Book...

I have a set way about how I do things. Rules for almost everything I do. There are things I'm allowed to do and things that are off-bound. A while ago I realized that even with Facebook, I've come up with some rules that I follow religiously....well...almost =D. Having edited all the personal stuff I could have written, I have decided to write these rules down if only to get my writing instincts back on track whether they want to be or not. So here goes:

Rule No. 0: I hate Notes:
I do. I’m sorry. All anyone does in their notes is: ME ME ME! And I’m guilty of the same so forgive me. Plus, when you’ve read rule no. 1 you’ll realize the whole privacy thing ticks me off. Sorry. Too Many *I*’s will be following this and *I* apologize in advance.

Rule No. 1: Camouflaged Display picture:
Better yet, no display picture that shows you. It's crazy, I'm not pretty, I'm not obnoxious about my 'beautiful looks' but, contrary to popular opinion, I am an extremely private person. I think I learned to mess about with Photoshop just so I could use it to hide behind. And so far I'm pretty happy with the way things have turned out. (And by the way, I am NOT happy with my current DP...too much me in it, I guess)

Rule No. 2: (Almost paranoid) compulsion about not adding people:
I hate adding people. I think I've only added 10 people on my own. It's not that I wouldn't like huge friends’ lists like the rest of you...but I am absolutely vain when it comes to adding people in my friends list. Its a dependence thing. Or a shyness/reserve thing, I don't know. Take a pick. Totally weird, totally inexplicable but true nonetheless. [P.S: and it’s nothing to with arrogance either]

Rule No. 3: No commenting on other people's pictures: Oh wait, this should be Rule no. 4 because Rule No. 3 is: Don't go through people's albums/photos. There's a good, logical, reason for this:

a) Usually they're all theme-based anyway. If you’ve seen one, you've seen them all.
b) They're brag based. Sight seeing or parties? Yeah that makes me feel mighty better. NOT
c) They're usually pretty boring anyway...

Rule No. 4: No commenting on other people's pictures/ only commenting on my own pictures:
I can control what goes in my albums and it ain’t nothing personal (I don’t think). I'm wired differently that way and the sole purpose of my album is to provide anyone who goes through with a good laugh (yeah, so I am comedian, kill me).

Rule No. 5: People You May Know Tool is my Enemy:
Don't get me wrong… its useful. But there a couple of reasons for my dislike (read: hate) for this valuable tool:

a) It always fills my heart with joy when I see the faces of people I know and realize that THEY DIDN'T ADD ME [See Rule No. 2]....and I guess the whole "if they didn't see me worthy of being added, I ain't doing it either" scenario plays out dramatically and in slow motion like an old Pakistani drama series.

b) Sometimes "I" know the people in the list but I'm sure they don't know me, which means that these people are more popular than I am and while I have no delusions about how famous I am, I do feel bad. Enough to hate the tool. And those people too, come to think of it =D

c) In the newsfeed across the network: comes the one-liner: "X added Y through the People You May Know Tool". Frankly, I think this is absolutely unnecessary. And over-rated. I always end up wondering for all of 2 seconds: who added who. Did X give in or did Y? And I have better things to do in those 2 seconds.

And the number one reason I hate the PYMK tool:
d) No matter how many times I delete all the people and remove this tool from my home always shows up again after a day or two. What is up with that? And why do I feel happy to see it? Well it’s not out of any love for the application; I can tell you...More like: I get to delete people again. Ah the sweet bliss of deleting (the popular) people!

Rule No. 6: NO commenting on anyone’s status/Status Updates and the ability of people to comment on them and for US to get notifications for years after that:
Yes, I agree. I made a darn mistake. Forgive me for I gave in to the temptation and commented on someone’s status. That doomed me for ever and now I have 50 notifications telling me that someone else who I don’t know commented after my comment. What the heck do I care? I DON’T, so leave me alone!!! (Again, I know that people who’ve commented on my statuses and pictures have felt this too and again, I apologize!

I'm sure I have loads of other rules too - I'll update them as I come across them (or not... :D )

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